# Questions_Char

Question:
This sporting celebrity often appears on TV with which other honorary know-all?


Question:
What does this character's Dad think of everything?

Answer_3:
It's all there for the enjoyment of an omniscient super-being!


Question:
Name Arthur Atkinson's reluctant sidekick


Question:
What does Arthur think shouldn't be put in sandwiches on a mutton day?


Question:
Which two flavours of Skweezy Cheezy Peaz might you see on a supermarket shelf?


Question:
Which variant of Cheesy Peas has never made it to market?

Answer_1:
Isotonic Cheesy Peas (for Athlete's Foot)

Answer_2:
Yuletide Cheesy Peas (with added Brandy Butter)

Answer_4:
After Tea Gourmet Cheesy Peas (Right Class!)


Question:
How might Cheesy Peas be described on the menu of an Indian Restaurant?


Question:
What basic skill does Gideon Soames have a problem with?


Question:
What has Jesse never claimed to have eaten, nor should he?


Question:
"This week, I are mowstly been eatin' Raspberry ___"


Question:
You meet this gent in a Pie 'n' Mash shop. What's he most likely to say to you?


Question:
There's trouble in store - name this deadly duo


Question:
What would you want to avoid these two getting the measure of?


Question:
Whose "Hamlets" do Ken and Kenneth claim to have seen?


Question:
Where was Ralph when he suffered a bout of mental illness?


Question:
What did Mrs Ted once win on the lottery?


Question:
Complete this character's reminiscence: "Small boys in the park, ___ for goalposts."


Question:
"___" says Ron often, and with a smug nod to camera


Question:
When insulted by his colleagues in the studio, Ron claims they are talking "The lingo of ___"


Answer_1:
Because he's Swiss and his first name is Toni

Answer_2:
Because he's built like an Alp and ridged like a Toblerone

Answer_3:
Because he's as reliable as clockwork and never "chimes" before the hour

Answer_4:
Because he feels most at home between the "mountains" of a beautiful woman


Question:
What is 'Goodbye' in the lingo of Chanel 9?


Question:
They're gripped! They're sorted! But who are they?


Question:
What does Lyndsay have an "allegory" of?


Question:
What does "the ordinary world" consist of for Off Roaders?


Question:
If England was invaded, what would remain for the Off Roader?


Question:
Who is the Off Roaders' weary cameraman?


Question:
This man has "the biggest todger in the world". Who is he?


Question:
His cars may be pricey, but his Alpine wisdom's free. Who is he?


Question:
Women love the smell of his "pipe". Who is he?


Question:
"Laying  ____ is very much like making love to a beautiful woman"


Question:
What, according to Swiss Toni, are cars like to women?


Question:
What, according to Swiss Toni, are cars like to blokes?


Question:
The drainage in the lower field is of great concern to these two. But who are they?


Question:
Ralph likes French Cinema. But to which movie did he once invite Ted?


Question:
"Mrs Ted says I'm half ___" Of what is Ted half?


Question:
What was the name of the Dramatic Society Ralph was a member of whilst at Agricultural College?


Question:
Which nude musical was Ralph involved in?


Question:
When Ralph was a child, he thought smoke was what?


Question:
What does Ralph care most about (apart from Ted)?


Question:
According to Ralph, "You haven't lived until you've had ___"


Answer_2:
The framed photo of his parents in India


Question:
He's been called "The Landlord of Laughter". Who is he?


Question:
They call him "The Prime Minister of Mirth". Who is he?


Question:
What's the name of the character written especially for Arthur by Samuel Beckett?


Question:
Which of the following is NOT a contemporary of Arthur?

Answer_4:
Cochineal (the controversial nude spoon players from Czechoslovakia)


Question:
Which of the following dictators has Arthur been mistaken for?


Question:
"Bobbing up and down in the jar like ___"


Question:
Which of the following is NOT a catchphrase of Arthur's?

Answer_4:
"I've seen you wearing your brothers clothing, Sir!"


Question:
His suit's a pinstripe, his medallion's golden and his polo-neck's purple. Who is he?


Question:
Which of the following is NOT a style of Jazz?


Question:
Which of the following is NOT a style of Jazz featured on the show?


Question:
Which style of Jazz does Louis find "mellow"?


Question:
Which style of Jazz is, to Louis, "shite"?


Question:
What prevented the legendary Hornfinger from appearing on Jazz Club?


Question:
Which Canadian Jazz Dance Group appeared on Jazz Club?


Question:
This guy's cooler than a polecat in an icebox. But which TV show does he present?


Question:
In which activity did Mr Kipling's boys take part as 'Elmas term wore on?


Question:
For what reason did the captains of sports used to assemble at Mr Kipling's school?

Answer_1:
To stagger round in high heels and Tina Turner wigs


Question:
Where did the strictest master from Mr Kipling's school spend years of his life?

Answer_2:
Working in a pie shop in Easington Colliery


Question:
What did the boys in Mr Kipling's school used to do to the school rabbit's face?


Question:
He'll tell of school ties but doesn't make pies. And his poems are probably awful. Who is he?


Question:
For what reason does Mr Kipling say one might get beaten senseless each Friday night?

Answer_3:
For over fraternising with the school rabbit


Question:
His 1st rhymes with holy, his 2nd with gherkin - good heavens above, is that ___?


Question:
This old duffer's no longer on the bench. But what was his trade?


Question:
Rowley can't make it to the Christmas dinner table. Why is this likely to be?

Answer_1:
Because some wag's stapled his pants to the armchair

Answer_3:
Because he's allergic to chestnut stuffing


Question:
How does Rowley describe his sweetheart of long ago?


Question:
Which beautiful song did Rowley share with his sweetheart?


Answer_3:
Confessions of an Austrian House Painter


Question:
Arthur made his film debut in which of the following?


Question:
Which product has not been advertised on Chanel 9


Question:
Where might you see "El Amore y El Passionne"?


Question:
Which of the following Football Teams have never appeared on Chanel 9?


Question:
Who presents the Chanel 9 show, "Questo Sporta"?


Question:
Which of the following is not available in the "Gizmo" range?


Question:
Which of the following artists appears on Bob Fleming's Country Favourites album?


Question:
What's brilliant about the London Underground?

Answer_3:
You can go anywhere on it, even the Moon!


Answer_3:
Because he could push them through the eye of a needle, brilliant!


Question:
He only got a piece of string to play with from his dad, but it was still ____?


Question:
Who scientifically proved that bears urine tastes revolting?


Question:
Who wrote the Christmas Rock/Disco opera, Sprog?


Question:
No matter his station, I wouldn't trust him with my wife, my daughter or my pet llama. Who is he?


Question:
Who might you bump into in the changing rooms of the Brazilian ladies synchronised swimming team at 3am?


Question:
John Actor plays which uncompromising character?


Question:
Who might ask you to "put yer knickers on and make us a cup of tea!"


Question:
In which show does John Actor play an uncompromising female cop?


Question:
Who might be stimulated by (ahem) Horse Brasses, (ahem) Taxidermy & (ahem) the Gypsy fair at Tiverton?


Question:
Apart from Mr Hoppy, who'd be most likely to say, "Bono Estente, kiddies"?


Question:
You're watching Nina Bayer Sayer spank Bombo Chipolata. Eh? What are you watching?


Question:
What's the connection between dolphins, whales & clowns?


Question:
Where haven't they been caught "in flagrante"?

Answer_1:
The display tent in an outdoor goods store

Answer_2:
In their front garden amongst the bushes


Question:
Who, in Ron's opinion, wouldn't mind a bit of zig-a-zig pie?


Question:
What might connect old people, the Mafia & shepherds?


Question:
Jesse can hardly walk, but he's smiling. What's he been mostly wearing this season?


Question:
There's snow all around and Jesse's teeth chatter as he reveals what he'll be mostly eating this season.


Question:
Whose "Hamlet" brought tears to the eyes of Kate Winslet?


Question:
"Daisy! Daddy's home," shouts the Duke, but where is he?


Question:
Who won an award for their fantastic weather forecasting skills?


Question:
Samuel Palmer was the leading authority on venereal disease in the 18th Century. Who'd know such a thing?


Question:
Who's been mostly wearing Dolce & Gabbana this season?


Question:
Jesse's free an' easy, but what's he not been wearing? Aside from his pants.


Question:
With no mention of fashion nor diet, what's Jesse done this week?


Question:
Where might the Duke indulge in penal correctitude?


Question:
"Are they going mad? Oh well…" Hmmm, where's the Duke now?


Question:
"What does he think I'm going to do… sing her lullabies or something?" Who's the Duke with this time?


Question:
Who discovered the cure for cancer, the original copy of the Bible and insulted Delia Smith?


Question:
From which famous warrior is Patrick directly descended?


Question:
"Whatever will they think of next?" What's Bob just been introduced to?


Question:
What did Denzil once steal from another laboratory?

Answer_3:
The formula for lysergic acid diethylamide


Question:
Ken greets you in the shop. "Sir has been a trifle rude!" What did Sir forget to do?


Question:
You're indulging in a little "Shaved Spatchcock." What are you doing?


Question:
Aside from being brutal, how do Ken & Kenneth feel about Cock-Fighting?


Question:
Tommy Cockles broke the thumbs of which member of the Carry On team?


Question:
What was "wonderful" about Ron Smike, a contemporary of Arthur?


Question:
Which of the following footballers does Ron find "gorgeous"?


Question:
In Ron's opinion, what's the problem with cricket?

Answer_3:
Trousers? Trousers? Tight shorts, isn't it?


Question:
Which of the following footballers isn't "gorgeous" in Ron's eyes?


Question:
Which footballer's wife has Ron imagined himself to be?


Question:
"Are they the lungs of the planet?" asks Ron. What are they?


Question:
Bob has a penchant for which type of dancing?


Question:
"They really were a tasty pair of birds, if a little tough." Who said this?


Question:
He's a close friend of Bob's, but he never appeared on "Country Matters." Who is he?


Question:
Bob once spent a whole night waiting for something to appear from its burrow. What?


Question:
What's the most powerful tool in Denzil's collection?


Question:
What were the results of Denzil's attempt to build a time machine from a Cadillac?


Question:
Who built a helmet from household objects in an attempt to harness gamma rays?


Question:
Denzil identified a link between bad TV schedules and what?


Question:
It's not brilliant cleaning up all the wood afterwards. What's he been doing?


Question:
They wear loads of clothes, cackle, moan about war, then die, fantastic! Who are they?


Question:
His arch enemy's Keith Uckyerself. Who is he?


Question:
This chap's comedy antics would enliven any Christmas party. Who is he?


Question:
According to Colin, what's in Lord Astrogoth's dungeon?


Question:
Which of the following jobs has Colin never claimed to have done?


Question:
They're right pongy, right mushy and still remain a right class feed. What are they?


Question:
You want to smell of peas & cheese? You can, but with what?


Question:
Who would you call in to catch a serial curry thief?


Question:
What might a Fat Sweaty Copper have for breakfast?


Question:
Faced with a broken elevator, where flees the Fat Sweaty Copper?


Question:
Needing to pursue a villain at high speed, what's the Fat Sweaty Coppers vehicle of choice?


Question:
It might seem ironic that these fine chaps are so fond of pork. Who are they?


Question:
What's this inappropriate chap frequently having to get?


Question:
Those funny bits at the end of the news? About kittens in trees? What about them, then?


Question:
He's at Agincourt, glorying in all things French. What does he get?


Question:
"Does anyone remember where I put me ____?"


Question:
Don't ask this guy to watch your bags, he'll nick 'em. Who is he?


Question:
What large object did Chris pilfer whilst its owners accused an innocent man?


Question:
He's a little bit "swishy-swoo-whoo," in the opinion of a nice lady. Who is he?


Question:
"You don't wanna ask me, I'll nick you!" What job's Chris landed himself, incredibly?


Question:
He tried his best to nick 'em, but couldn't. What were they?


Question:
Man of many talents, which of the following trades has Monkfish not had a go at?


Question:
He's told all but one of the following to "put yer knickers on." Which one remained sans underwear?


Question:
Where might you have the pleasure of seeing a dubbed Monkfish?


Question:
Which of the following objects has Monkfish had a hand in?


Question:
Where was Rowley flummoxed by an outrageous cat?


Question:
What does the shop just off St. Alexander's Square sell?


Question:
She had her first orgasm last Tuesday, but what's her name?


Question:
Rather nicely, Genevieve's uncle died and left them all his yachts. Who's this fortunate chap?


Question:
What did Patrick once see in his daddy's wheelbarrow?


Question:
Buying guava's in Harrods, Patrick saw someone. Who?


Question:
Indulging in a little chemistry, what did Patrick's eldest son win?


Question:
What are these chaps aside from being fat & sweaty?


Question:
Lying under the mistletoe at Christmas, what do these two say?


Question:
That's no elephant trapped in the bedroom, it's ____


Question:
What finished when a pair of buttocks were pressed up against a bay window?


Question:
What shivered when the couple got frisky in their front garden?


Question:
"Oh my God, that's its ____! I thought it was its tail!"


Question:
Upon emptying the cat litter, this chap needed intense psychoanalysis. Who is he?


Question:
His first rhymes with Beamish, his second with meeker, well tickle my monkey, it's the ____


Question:
Being surrounded by three of them petrified him. What were they?


Question:
Much to his horror, what did our man find himself feeding to penguins?


Question:
Something once trapped this chap in a zoo enclosure. What was it?


Question:
This chap would stand in a cowpat in the desert. Who is he?


Question:
He's been covered in silage and guano and blown into a hole. Who is he?


Question:
Where does Alf play cards and dominoes, usually losing at both?


Question:
What destroyed Alf's house when he turned it on?


Question:
What's wrong with Molly when Alf's about to propose to her?


Question:
He's a warrior for the planet, in an aerosol kind of way. Who is he?


Question:
The plight of the Hill-Tribes upsets him but a pork pie cures his melancholia. Who is he?


Question:
Dave's wearing a thong. What's he promoting?


Question:
What hasn't Dave done with his wife for 12 years?


Question:
"There aren't any towns in the jungle, you ____!"


Question:
What did the monks of St Bartholomew's Monastery worship?


Question:
Who was rumoured to have bought Samuel Palmer's house?


Question:
How many children did Samuel Palmer sire?


Question:
One of the monks from St Bartholomew's kept a diary. What's the published title of this book?


Question:
Professional boxer for thirty years, Archie lost how many of his 400 fights?


Question:
He's been a man & a boy for thirty years, but what's his name?


Question:
His first rhymes with fartsy, his second with dub. He'll bore you to tears, will ____


Question:
How long did it take for Archie to drive from Cherbourg to Sydney?


Question:
"I won't 'ave 'im in the house!" says Archie. About who?


Question:
Archie's fond of Elvis, but who's his favourite singer?


Question:
How old was Archie when he got his HGV license?


Question:
Who tried to nut Spassky in Reykjavik in 1970?


Question:
What goes best with a pork pie, in Dave's opinion?


Question:
How many Fat Coppers does it take to break a lift?


# Questions_FF

Question:
What was Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, allergic to?


Question:
Who directed the 1931 "Monster, monster" movie, Frankenstein?


Question:
What style of jazz does Jeremy Queeg play?


Question:
"All lumped together in a huge ___, which is my brain." (says Jeremy of his music)


Question:
How does Jeremy Queeg describe Louis Balfour?


Question:
Jeremy Queeg's music is "a huge ___ interwoven with a thousand musical styles and dreams."


Question:
Jeremy has a profusion of what stuck to his hat?


Question:
"You lock me in the cellar and feed me ___!"


Question:
Who might use gin as perfume and cook with Eau de Cologne?


Question:
"Mmm, you smell nice! What's that?"  Well, what is it?


Question:
She's been a Christmas Fairy, a Pantomime Cow and a High Court Judge. Which one question is always on her mind?


Question:
"I feel a complete fool in this ____" she says, for once happy with her bum.


Question:
"Does my bum look big in this wig?" In what profession might a wig make your bum look big?


Question:
You're in Church receiving Communion. What might increase the dimensions of your posterior?


Question:
Billy Bleach once wrote a book on relationships. What was it called?


Question:
Which instrument did Billy Bleach play as a child?


Question:
Which of the following has Billy Bleach never claimed to have studied in evening classes?


Question:
Which of the following songs does Billy Bleach feel would be ruined by a cover version?


Question:
Executive toys? They don't need 'em, but who are they?


Question:
Ed's worked with which of the following?


Question:
Where might it be advisable to wear a layer of silver foil beneath your clothes?


Question:
Complete the following phrase: "Come to the Isle of Man, ____"


Question:
Who loves Cliff Richard, but wouldn't take him out with her mates?


Question:
When Janine had a baby, her dad called her a slag, a slapper and a ____?


Question:
Which celebrity might be unwise to commission a portrait by Johnny Gosling?


Question:
Johnny's at a football match. His wife suggests they go home. Who has come onto the pitch?


Question:
During an eclipse you should avoid this usually pleasant chap. Who is he?


Question:
This fellow's scholars are rolling in dollars. Or something. Anyway, what's his name?


Question:
What do Mr Kipling's more unruly pupils throw at him when he enters the canteen?


Question:
Ed has aquatic experience. Of what kind?


Question:
Ed's been known to proselytise the teachings of whom?


Question:
One becomes a Prefect by kicking what in the face?


Question:
The Headmaster had a twitching thing with which to administer various punishments. What did he twitch?


Question:
I met a man with black leather gloves and quite excessive nasal hair. What did he say?


Question:
I ain't seen him play with which ethnic Jazz quartet, right?


Question:
"Oi, copper chumpy!" Who ain't I seen him say this to?


Question:
I ain't seen him on which Chanel 9 show?


Question:
These childish professionals find glee in something peeping out of a slipper. But what?


Question:
"I've got a fax to do!" "Well, I've got a ____!"


Question:
What's the Childish Professionals favourite TV programme?


Question:
How long does the average thespian spend in make-up?


Question:
Appearing in a Science Fiction movie, what part took six hours preparation in make-up?


Question:
Playing the Compte de Viette, what disguise took six hours in make-up?


Question:
"How do you walk in these things?" It took six hours in make-up, but what is he?


Question:
"I'm not ____, you know?" And after six hours in make-up, too!


Question:
It took six hours in make-up to draw two lines down the corners of his mouth. What is he now?


Question:
It took six hours for the make-up, but the question is, "oo will buy my ____?"


Question:
Who appeared on That's Amazing with an everlasting pen?


Question:
What amazing object did Carl "That's Amazing" Hooper stab Davy Monroe in the eye with?


Question:
Grant Cooper showed Carl "That's Amazing" Hooper his amazing musical what?


Question:
What two words does the "amazing" Dr Norton Presterhouse have immense trouble with?


Question:
What does the Honeyfly turn out to be after Carl "That's Amazing" Hooper tastes its amazing nectar?


Question:
What's the amazing, invisible, silent monster that hovers called?


Question:
What amazing creature did Jack Off show Carl "That's Amazing" Hooper?


Question:
What was Robert Howells amazing robot called?


Question:
Taff Lad went to a gig last night & got completely ratarsed. How does he feel today?


Question:
Taff Lad's bloody knackered. What's he got on the go?


Question:
What's Taff Lad got, but hasn't found much use for?


Question:
What was Taff Lad's dad, & his dad before him?


Question:
What did Taff Lad think was bloody huge before he got used to it?


Question:
Why didn't Taff Lad run the London Marathon?


Question:
"____ is a funny thing, innit?" says Taff Lad. What's that then?


Question:
What won't we get in Taff Lad's lifetime?


Question:
What do you leave the Isle of Man to get away from?


Question:
What don't gentlemen do at all on the Isle of Man?


Question:
"We've seen ____!" Say the Isle of Mannites. Who have they seen?


Question:
"Eating sausage rolls is alright, 'cos there's not ____" what's Janine's philosophy here?


Question:
He's already married, but why isn't it fair for Janine to marry her baby's father?


Question:
Wearing Calvin Klein suggests that you might not be ____ enough, no offence


Question:
"I'm guessing you're ____ if you've let yourself lapse in the feminine hygiene department, no offence."


Question:
Who produces "Drill Bit," the scent few men are manly enough to wear?


Question:
"Isn't this ____ a complete waste of time? No offence."


Question:
"I notice you're not wearing a wedding ring; given your ____ I presume you must be divorced or a lesbian, No Offence!"


Question:
"Perhaps that's why your ____ left you in the first place. No offence."


Question:
"Stuck, down an 'ole, in the fog, with ____!"


Question:
"I'm sorry, I seem to have lost my ____"


Question:
Where's the best place to hide a list of Russian spies?


Question:
"You can do anything and everything ____!"


Question:
Should you be lucky enough to get Billy's business card, what would you see?


Question:
"Did you choose your ____ randomly on a computer?"


Question:
The pub fills up with men in scarves and rattles. Simply, who are they?


Question:
Cheese? Bread? Under the grill? What do you get?


Question:
"You'll never take me alive, Inspector McF… MacFerr…" What's this?


Question:
Who has nothing to fear from the Unpro-nouncables?


Question:
"I refuse to answer any questions on ____"


Question:
An interviewer's nightmare, what's this recalcitrant chap called?


Question:
His wife's baking, so which of the following wasn't even better than eggs and flour?


Question:
Even better than that, which of the following didn't he buy for the party?

Answer_3:
A toilet roll holder with Margaret Thatcher's face

Answer_4:
A breadbin based on a 40-year-old design


Question:
So, what didn't he get to repair the lawn?


Question:
The captains of the various sports teams would assemble the new boys but for what purpose?


Question:
If you fill your pockets with conkers, what's likely to happen to you on Friday night?

Answer_4:
You'll be chased home by the urchins of the parish


Question:
What might this family have on the menu at a dinner party?


Question:
The ringing of which two items are indistinguishable to the Lady of the House?


Question:
After waiting years for a cat question on a pub quiz machine, what does Billy exclaim?


Question:
At which of the following places has Ed never appeared?


Question:
Which of the following substances has significantly affected Ed's presence?


Question:
With which of the following tools would this chap repair a car?


Question:
He's been seen bothering what kind of animal in a field?


Question:
He struggles manfully to tether what in a barn?


Question:
Which music show have these colourfully ethnic chaps graced with their delicate tones?


Question:
Whose "Bottom" caused his drama teacher to faint?


Question:
His son acting on stage, what does Competitive Dad shout out?


Question:
At what game does Toby eventually beat his Competitive Dad?


Question:
"No! I will never give in to ____," shouts Competitive Dad. What'll never defeat him?


Question:
What was Competitive Dad when he was younger?


Question:
"Nothing is ____ Toby!" what sage advice is Competitive Dad offering his son?


# Questions_VO

Question:
What is framed to the right of the door in Swiss Toni's office?

Answer_1:
Toni's honorary membership certificate for 'The Pussy Club'


Question:
What might not be waiting for your lady in a hotel room?


Question:
Which woollen items are worn around the table?


Question:
"For God's sake Paul, do you not realise? I'm having a ___ "


Question:
" ___ what aubergine would potato you turnip like carrots to asparagus drink?"


Question:
"Tomato pint aubergine of ___ Best turnip please."


Question:
"Tomato you aubergine have potato to turnip say carrots the asparagus right ___ vegetables."


Question:
"Tomato or ___ it's potato a turnip forfeit."


Question:
"Tomato here's aubergine your ___ drinks."


Question:
"Tomato it's aubergine a potato private ___ matter."


Question:
"Tomato Ted aubergine your ___ wife's turnip dead."


Question:
"It's alright Madam, you can laugh, I've been ____"


Question:
"Arthur Atkinson. The man, the myth, the ____"


Question:
"Sometimes you've just got to have the courage to ____"


Question:
What's outside the window of Swiss' office?


Question:
Swiss' shirt is the colour of cheese, but which kind?


Question:
In the middle of Toni's rant, to what does Paul raise both hands?


Question:
What's peculiar, these days, about Arthur's footwear?


Question:
What should be on the pillow in your hotel room, maybe?


Question:
"Only the best food, freshly prepared by an award-winning ____"


Question:
How is the English comedy duo introduced?


Question:
His mustachio and paintbrush make him unmistakable, but what's his name?


Answer_1:
Ton Pizzy-Bir Especiale Presentation Ton Pschitt Show


Question:
What does the creepy painter carry onto the set?


Question:
How does Fredos Appollonia describe the creepy painter?


Question:
They're from the Isle of Mann, but who are they?


Question:
Why is Fredos Appollonia displeased with the appearance of the creepy painter?

Answer_1:
"Me presentarios ton Big Show! Nicht yets!"

Answer_4:
"Ton checky-chocky shirto mucho sexy, ton passionate meo no?"


Question:
What does Arthur bring to the proceedings?


Question:
But one character in this scene wears a mustachio. Who?


Question:
When asked to get the door, how does Lanchester respond?


Question:
"Ere, I says to 'im, 'ey I says to 'im, oi, I says to 'im, ____"


Question:
"'Ere, pass the mustard and less of your ____"


Question:
"Quick, the ____ are coming, hide mother!"


Question:
At the time, swearing on radio was akin to being caught with your hand in what?


Question:
Again Arthur's playing to a full house, but what causes his downfall?


Question:
The hat's always the same, but what kind is it?


Question:
What would Arthur rather do than bob up and down in the moonlight like your brother and his friend?


Question:
Arthur was talk of the town, but what did he soon become?


Question:
What's the name of the cravat & blazer wearing gent who muses on Arthur's downfall?


Question:
The BBC tore up Arthur's contract and his Fan Club was shut down, but what couldn't Arthur get anywhere after this debacle?


Question:
The moustachioed presenter's better known for his newscasting, but what's his name?


Question:
"Fallia halla, fallia hellay, fallia hellay, ____"


Question:
The "cronumero bonus" ball seems almost forgotten about, but what does it eventually turn out to be?


Question:
She's here to "grabba da balls" but is better known for "scorchio" weather reports. Who is she?


Question:
"Bono estente, wilkommen, bonjour, hello and ____"


Question:
If mixa is two and threematosis is thirteen, what's twelve?


Question:
Who presents the "Weekend Meterologicos"?


Question:
Our weathergirl has trouble getting to the island, but what's it called?


Question:
What's the weather like in San Palledros this weekend?


Question:
Where does our weathergirl begin her report?


Question:
Which of the following has never forecast the weather on Chanel 9?


Question:
Far from being one-dimensional, this weathergirl has also appeared in which of the following Chanel 9 shows?

Answer_3:
El Presidente Choppy-chop Ton Execution Hour

Answer_4:
Acadamea Republica Sminki-pinki Especial Awards


Question:
"Ooo-ooh" says our weathergirl whilst stepping over something. What is it?


Question:
With what phrase does our weathergirl begin her report?


Question:
On which sminki-pinki channel would you see this?


Question:
He's the undisputed king of disco, but what's his name?


Question:
We all know it's a wonderful song, but what's it called?


Question:
In between clutching scantily-clad girls, who presents this show?


Question:
Though they don't think much of their Disco King, how many girls in the background sing?


Question:
On a romantic night out with your Disco Baby, which of the following might you stare into?


Question:
What does the presenter undo as he lets fly the disco magnificence?


Question:
"Me calla casa, me calla mea, sexy baby, ____"


Question:
Who is the undisputed king of Bee Bop trumpet?


Question:
And the backing band tonight is called, what?


Question:
Which Bee Bop classic did we hear this wonderful evening?

Answer_1:
More Mooplah for my Hooplah, Mr Ticket Man


Question:
Trumpet, double bass, drums and what other instrument comprised the band?


Question:
The chorus modulates between the keys of B and A flat, before resolving itself in E. What does Louis make of this?


Question:
Our trumpeter has a peculiar feature essential to his art. What is it?


Question:
What does Yolanda Ayres always take on tour with her?


Question:
Malaysia isn't normally associated with which kind of Jazz?


Question:
Which Jazz standard does Yolanda take a sideways look at?

Answer_2:
More Mooplah for my Hooplah, Mr Ticket-Man


Question:
It's somewhat of a departure Yolanda playing on Jazz Club. Why?


Question:
Louis seems to have lost his Jazz Stool, so what does he sit on instead?


Question:
Everything's going great for Yolanda until something happens. What?


Question:
What makes Louis raise his eyebrows and moan, "Mmmmmmm"?


Question:
What would you ideally want your xylophone mallet to be made of?


Question:
Less than impressed with Paul's attempt at making coffee, Swiss thinks it's been strained through whose jockstrap?


Question:
"You've got to grind your ____ until they squeak!"


Question:
What, in Swiss Toni's opinion is very much like making love to a beautiful woman in this scene?


Question:
How many customers have visited Swiss Toni's lot since Paul began working there?


Question:
Swiss Toni obviously can't face the customers today. What's his excuse for sending Paul in his place?

Answer_4:
"She's not beautiful and she's barely a woman."


Question:
What do the players of the drinking game cry when Ralph makes, yet another, mistake?


Question:
What's Ralph clutching in his right hand?


Question:
On the table in the foreground is a bottle containing the forfeit. What is it?


Question:
What are these two radiant chaps called?


Question:
What colour are the shorts our two husky gents are fondling?


Question:
Should Ken inquire as to your wellbeing, how should you reply?


Question:
Having raised the shorts, how do our tailors signify their agreement?

Answer_4:
They sacrifice a small goat to dark pagan gods


Question:
What colour are Ken's shirt and pocket handkerchief?


Question:
What does Kenneth feel like falling to his knees and thanking God for?


Question:
Which of the following spoonerisms does Ken use?


Question:
"Is it my imagination, or are they all ____?"


Question:
What's peculiar about the hatted mannequin with the hat?


Question:
Sir's walk suggests that something's stuck to his leg. What?


Question:
What's a sign of the modern independent lady?


Question:
So many questions here, but which one was asked?


Question:
Before you "ram it up" make sure the tip of your tape measure is ____?


Question:
What do the ladies like men both in & out of?


Question:
The outrageous gent would like you to slide down the greasy pole of his what?


Question:
What does the Outrageous Gent have enough of?


Question:
"Have you ever sampled the unique delights of ____?"


Question:
What might you fear the Outrageous Gent bringing to your dinner party?


Question:
The finer things in life, eh? Which of the following isn't one?


Question:
"Come on Ladies, come on Gentlemen!" Who else?


Question:
According to Ken, what's the sex capital of the world?


Question:
What do you call this peculiar art form?


Question:
On what instrument is the accompanying music played?


Question:
This scene was probably an outside broadcast for which show?


Question:
Jed Thomas has the final word, but what is it?


Question:
What do the dancers wear tied to their legs?


Question:
Name the beleaguered producer of this show


Question:
What would you call Bob's outstanding facial hair?


Question:
What was presumably lacking in the rehearsal?


Question:
What's the name of Denzil's unseen assistant?


Question:
How does this lively fellow describe horses?

Answer_1:
They're like seahorses that live on land

Answer_2:
They're like flying horses that don't fly

Answer_3:
They're like hippopotamuses that don't live in rivers

Answer_4:
They're like really old cars with no windscreen wipers


Question:
If all the sheep died, what would we miss?


Question:
If there was no grass, what would we have to call grass snakes?


Question:
They hang around his neck, but what are they?


Question:
Why's it a good job that mams look different?

Answer_1:
So kids know which painting to take home from school

Answer_2:
So you know which house to go to for your tea

Answer_3:
Because dads aren't good at telling voices apart

Answer_4:
They don't -- they all look like Winston Churchill


Question:
They're softer and smell better, but what are they?


Question:
Mams have a magical way of putting these on, what are they?


Question:
What might the shadowy figure on the bridge say to you?


Question:
What's Chris' justification for nicking the taxi?


Question:
"What are you doing with my cases?" Well, what's he doing?


Question:
"I shall report this!" How does Chris feel about that?


Question:
What was the programme on the other side about?


Question:
Colin's favourite sketch show sounds, err, great. What's it called?


Question:
Which of the following wasn't a sketch on Colin's favourite show?


Question:
How should you address the head of the Turnip Family?


Question:
What will you love if you like cheese & peas?


Question:
Who should "think cheese, think peas, think Cheesy Peas"?


Question:
How many kinds of cheese go into traditional Cheesy Peas?


Question:
What's sticking out of the bowl of Cheesy Peas?


Question:
Who put the stuff in their pool that makes wee turn purple?


Question:
What's the best single exercise you can do?


Question:
"I love a good swim, don't you? It really gets you ____"


Question:
Apart from trunks, what's our unfortunate man wearing?


Question:
"It's no harder than Italian or French!" What's that then?


Question:
Bruce bakes something Italian. It's fantastic. What gets baked?


Question:
How many days does it take to prepare some Italian dishes?


Question:
What are the nutty bits on the top of Bruce's dish like?


Question:
What colour are the flowers on the table?


Question:
What's Jesse mostly going to be wearing this season?


Question:
What other kind of tips has Jesse offered his eager public?


Question:
He's wired, but what's Jesse been mostly eating this week?


Question:
What does Jesse do to the door after he's closed it?


Question:
Aside from his wellies, what other footwear is Jesse partial to?


Question:
Tough & uncompromising, what's Monkfish today?


Question:
How many dodgy geezers is Monkfish following?


Question:
What's Rowley doing at the start of this scene?


Question:
Which of the following vehicles doesn't Rowley use in this tale?


Question:
Which of the following doesn't Rowley mimic?


Question:
He points at you and cries a single word before admitting his drunkenness. What word?


Question:
The sounds of jungle animals? Which ones?


Question:
What sits on the table to Rowley's left?


Question:
What's Rowley doing throughout this scene?


Question:
Penicillin? Who gets a mention just after this desperate plea?


Question:
He's got a bass drum and a cymbal, but what does Monkfish pluck?


Question:
The uncompromising antics of Monkfish are coming soon to which channel?


Question:
What's blowing down the alley behind Monkfish?


Question:
"Put your ____ on and make me a cup of tea!"


Question:
From whom does Monkfish politely request a cup of tea?


Question:
Lyndsay's got a self-cocking automatic baby. What's Simon got?


Question:
It's gripped and sorted, but what is it?


Question:
What part of Simon's plan does Lyndsay utilise for his own amusement?


Question:
Simon's going up there, but in what manner?


Question:
What hangs from the wall above the cupboards?


Question:
What's Patrick holding in his right hand?


Question:
Even though he hasn't got one, what's Ron thinking of shaving for charity?


Question:
Who might star in "The Australian Patient"?


Question:
He had a similar configuration to Bobby Charlton, but who is he?


Question:
Who might play golf with Wolf out of Gladiators & Ron Manager?


Question:
Tommy Buxton makes one contribution to this dialogue. What is it?


Question:
You've just seen a half-naked man. What was he smoking?


Question:
"I just do the donkey work. ____ and so forth."


Question:
Apart from glasses, what's our man wearing?


Question:
Panicked by this tragic affair, where does our man run?


Question:
How does our zookeeper arrange his hair?


Question:
Where does he frantically wash his boots?


Question:
"____!" What's the Duke's cry of exaltation?


Question:
From a long line of Dukes, which one's this?


Question:
What are all women when you get to Alf's age?


Question:
What's Alf trying to say as the parrot rants?


Question:
How many times does the parrot insult Alf?


Question:
Alf's stop is the last stop before what?


Question:
What falls off when Alf hits the bollard?


Question:
One of Alf's few pleasures is popping down here. Where is he?


Question:
"I didn't ____ that were going to 'appen!"


Question:
"Not that I've got much use for it anymore, ____"


Question:
Hairstyles of Gods, on which side do Ken & Kenneth part their hair?


Question:
What other birds has Alf had grief with?


Question:
What trick is most common amongst parrots?


Question:
Aside from the goose, which animal has taken a liking to Alf's privates?


Question:
What's Old Mother Earth heating up like?


Question:
Dave's standing now, but what did he used to do here?


Question:
What's Dave's pal got "just back there"?


Question:
Dave's seen a few things, but which hasn't appeared in this beautiful spot?


Question:
What does the weather have no respect for?


Question:
"I wouldn't really know about ____, sir."


Question:
Ralph's not a King, but how could he have equally described himself?


Question:
Who wants to build a leisure centre here?


Question:
What did two local historians find on their hearth?


Question:
Which two materials did Sir Hugh Tatchell use in the building of this house?


Question:
Who's going to have the use of the proposed leisure centre?

Answer_4:
Hobgoblins from Patrick Nice's wheelbarrow


# Quiz_Section

Section_Instructions:
Match the scrambled name to the right picture...


